TIPS FOR SUCCESS
Here are some things that you could do to help yourself become emotionally intelligent. Keep in mind that these tips are useful to the degree that they are practiced regularly. You are as likely to create transformational changes by reading a list of tips, as you are to perfect your golf game by reading a book.


1) Select a friend who is sympathetic and encouraging and arrange to meet with him or her on a regular basis. Share your feelings with this trusted friend, honestly and authentically.
2) Expose yourself to whatever you are afraid of, rather than withdraw. Recognizing and confronting fears strengthens the personality.
3) Write down what you dislike in others to see if perhaps you have disowned these traits in yourself. Try to put yourself in the shoes of those people that you dislike, seeing the world through their eyes. They may help you to identify repudiated aspects of yourself. Try to recapture some of these traits, to broaden your personality.
4) Pay attention to your thoughts. They can trigger negative emotions. Recognize when you are being too judgmental, or have too high expectations, or experience wounded pride, or push people away with your words.
5) Try to put your emotions in words. People who are at risk for heart disease are often unable to identify when they are angry or sad, or even anxious.
6) Learn to give yourself instructions to control your behaviors and emotions. Give yourself a pep talk to work through frustrating circumstances. Rehearse in your imagination what you want to accomplish.
7) Handle your emotions by recognizing and honoring them. What you resist, persists. So it?s better to express what you feel then to suppress it (assuming you do this in ways that people can tolerate).
8) See yourself ?at cause? in your life, rather than a victim of events. Whatever shows up in front of you, try to find out what you had to do with it.
9) Be an optimist. Try to see the positive side to what?s happening now, the lessons that can be learned from even negative situations.
10) See yourself as a ?giver?, rather than a ?taker?. Giving of yourself, your feelings, thoughts,ideas, time, love and appreciation does as much for you as for others. Mentoring others is a valuable gift.
11) Write down how you want to be remembered, to help get in touch with your values.
12 )Let you values pull you into the future, rather than allow yourself to be pushed into the future by past conditioning.
13) Get in touch with your ?shoulds? and replace them with wants, wishes and desires, in order to give yourself more choice in your life, and put yourself under less pressure.
14) When under stress, stop what you are doing and try to remember a time when you felt love, care or appreciation. Recalling the feeling of joy or delight is incompatible with the feeling of stress.
15) Don?t presume that people can read your mind.
16) Encourage others to tell you the truth. Let them know that this includes bad news.
17) Counterbalance a tendency towards seriousness with a spirit of playfulness.
18) Accept and appreciate your inborn ability to be both one way and its opposite, serious and playful, angry and forgiving.