Dear Dr. Larry

I'm confused. I thought that my manager was supposed to be in charge. But he never does anything about the employees who eat on the sales floor or are rude to customers.
He keeps ducking responsibility. What should I do?

Dear Duckn

Thank you for your letter. You bring up some issues that we have been addressing in our manager training meetings recently, most notably, the issue of accountability. The real question posed by your letter is as follows: who is accountable for enforcing the rules, the manager, the employee or both? The answer is both. Let me explain.

We know that great companies have people who are truly engaged and committed to their work. Because of their investment in what happens, they are willing to call their peers on performance or behavior that might hurt the team. Eating and drinking on the sales floor, or being rude in front of customers is clearly unacceptable behavior.

Have you tried talking to your rude co-worker about his or her misguided behavior? It is very difficult, I know, to confront your co-worker. However, great team members are willing to face this kind of discomfort, even at the risk of jeopardizing their friendships. Holding your co-worker accountable to the expectations and standards of your team, actually demonstrates respect. You are saying to your team member that you know that he or she is capable of more than is being demonstrated. Think what would happen if you didn't correct your child's rude behavior in front of your friends. Your child would think of you as weak or uncaring, and could lose respect for you.

While you and your team members are basically accountable for holding each other to a certain level of performance, your manager on rare occasions, must step in.

Your manager is responsible for making sure that everyone knows the goals and standards that he has in mind. Has he clearly published his expectations?

Second, your manager should be giving each of you feedback on a regular basis about your performance. Has he or she met with this rule breaker and communicated his or her concerns? If not, perhaps your manager is having a problem with assertiveness. Some people are so concerned about being liked, that they fail to set limits. Managers who avoid conflict at any cost are doing a disservice to their organization and to themselves. This is because without conflict, people and organizations don't grow. Have you talked to your manager about your feelings? Perhaps he or she could benefit from knowing how important it is to step in when all else has failed